I understand. But always know that your problems are never “inferior”. Yes, they may be less intense or severe as others, but that doesn’t change anything; you still have your problems, they still have theirs. You still feel your pain and discounting it by saying your problems aren’t “crippling” won’t help one bit. Be lucky your problems aren’t crippling.
Know that comparing your problems won’t help ease the pain. We all feel pain. That’s something you can’t compare.
Yes, I can relate.
For myself(I’m not sure about you), it wasn’t so much that I didn’t want to get better it was more like I didn’t know how or if it was even possible. I was unsure/scared of the unknown and what it would be like to actually “recover”. I, like many others suffering from mental illnesses, became comfortable in my depression/self injurious habits. I started to identify myself with them. And if I know longer had them, I wouldn’t know who I was or what I would be like.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be happy, it’s just I didn’t know if I could get there and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to because I didn’t trust it. It never lasted for me. It wasn’t who I was. I needed self injury.
But I have come to realize that your diagnose does not define you in any way, shape, or form. You are you, despite your afflictions or problems. You don’t need self harm. You don’t need depression. You don’t need eating disorders. You don’t need any mental illnesses. And they will never become you.
Deciding that you want help is the first step to recovery. It’s a really hard step, but it’s the most important. You said it yourself, you hate being so “messed up”. First of all, you’re not messed up, dear, not at all. You’re just struggling. And it’s possible for you to overcome that struggle. You have to decide you want to though. You cannot win a battle if you’re not determined to fight.
Something I learned while I was away has really come to help me in my recovery: Although depression is a chemical imbalance in your brain (not an attitude you can change), it is still possible to manage it and to not let it control you. For a really long time I thought I couldn’t do anything about my depression, I thought it was in control. I was personifing it. As it my mental illness had somehow become this celestiel being that was controlling me. However, that was not the case. Despite the fact depression is, in fact, something you can not ultimately get rid of on your own account, there are still things you can do to lessen the impact. You have to fight depression. When it’s telling you your worthless, you talk back, repeat to yourself that you are important, becauses you are. When the little voice in your head says that you can never get better, tell it to shut up.
Like you said, you’re only 14. You have so much life yet to live! Don’t let this ruin you, don’t let this kill you. Because you can survive, and you can overcome this. But you have to want it, and you have to believe you can.
Best of luck.
If you ever want to talk to me personally about that I would actually really enjoy that, I suspect I have that disorder as well.
However, if you’re 18, then it’s legal to be diagnosed with a personality disorder. So I say that you should see I different psychiatrist. Good luck! -Mandy
I totally understand, the same thing happened to me((my period key isn’t working so I’m just gonna use / okay ugh this is annoying))/ I don’t know how old you are, but I know that personality disorders are very rarely diagnosed in anyone younger than 18/ This is because, like they probably said, of hormones/ I think it’s a bit of BS but I see the point/ What I was told was to basically wait until I’m 18 and go back to them again/ Unless you think it’s really severe and something needs to be done about it immediately, I suggest you just wait, that’s basically all there is to do/ I mean you could try talking to a different psychiatrist, but it might not do much/ However, I have heard that they’ll diagnose a minor with a personality disorder if they’ve seen the symptoms occurring for more than a year, I don’t know how true that is, but you might want to give that a shot/ Sorry I couldn’t offer much more help! -Mandy
there aren’t any! I’ve posted all we’ve received :) -Mandy
Self diagnosing isn’t reliable, but yes, it does sound like it. -Mandy
Yeah, I totally get that, sometimes you’re just shocked that someone cares about you so much c: -Mandy